Want Some Cheese with that Whine?

Uh, NO!  Hows about some cheesecake with it instead?  Okay people, I have been "dieting" for about 2 months now and have actually gained weight.  What really makes me mad is that my sister has lost 20 pounds so far and, unfortunately, I have found half of that weight, and added them to my thighs, hips, and stomach.  How did I find them you ask?

I have absolutely

NO SELF CONTROL

over these wonderful concoctions!  

If there is candy in a mile radius, I will definitely find it and I will definitely eat the heck out of it.  I am beginning to think that working at home is a horrible idea.  My desk is in the kitchen, which is the best place for a fatty to be all day, right?  With all of those snack cakes, leftovers, cookies, and candy.  I just can't win.  God forbid someone else be able to enjoy the ooey gooey goodness of all of that junk food and empty calories.  It just tastes and feels so good while you are eating it, but then, when you are done, you feel like a cow that has just grazed all day in the back 9 cornfield after the harvest.  

I am just going to blame the weather, and I think all Hoosiers will agree that Indiana weather absolutely sucks!  It's all the weathers fault because I would totally be outside all day exercising if it was warm out...right...

COME ON SPRING, SPRING ALREADY!

A few days in and....

Well, I'm a few days into my "diet" and I haven't had too much trouble.  Down 0.9 pound (almost a whole pound) and I have only been drinking one diet coke a day.  I have been drinking plenty of water and can really tell the difference.  Before, when I was drinking cola all day long, my throat was so dry, and my tongue felt like sandpaper.  I had to have a drink in hand at all hours of the day and it was getting to the point where my diet coke was my crutch.  Now, after only 2 days, my throat isn't dry at all, and I don't feel like I constantly need a drink by my side.  I have found it easy to start drinking more water with Mio Water Enhancer.  YUM!  My fav is the sweet tea, which I can drink all day long.  No calories! 

I am going to hopefully start my exercise routine tomorrow.  Fingers crossed for that.  I am hoping that the man downstairs doesn't break into my head and knock down my confidence.  He so tried to today, throwing me thoughts like, "what's the point!?"  "You can't lose the weight!"  "Those pants will never fit anyways."  So irritating, but I have been knocking him back down whenever he tries to do anything.  I just hope I can keep it up.  I usually do good with a diet or fast for a few days, and then slowly fall off the back of the wagon.  I just have to have strength and believe in myself!  I have been thinking about working on my crafts whenever I feel "hungry" or "bored".  I have so much to do with picture frames, painting, rearranging, hanging.  I also have tons of laundry and cleaning to do, so maybe I will get off my rear and start doing that! 

Now has to be the time...

In order to change something like a behavior, you have got to hit rock bottom right?  What happens if you have been dangling from the edge of a cliff, grasping on a fraying rope, for years?  Apparently, if you want to get something done, you have to let go of the friggin rope.  Bottom, here I come!  Or so I hope. 

I am the picture of an addict.  I HAVE to have diet in hand 100% of the time.  I HAVE NEVER been able to stop my hand from placing sweet delicacies into my pie hole.  I DON'T LISTEN when my head says,

"NO!"

Don't put that in your mouth!"

"It will just end up on those already husky hips of yours!"

I swear, no matter how it tasts, I will drink that horrid diet drink.  No matter if I'm hungry or not, I will shove that donut in my mouth.  I have absolutely ZERO self control.  I don't respect myself, I don't love myself, and I don't take care of myself.  I eat crappy food, drink crappy drinks, and do crappy things.  I can down over 44 ounces of diet soda in a day, plus at least 2 more 16 ounce bottles, I snack constantly, and I rock the slothing around better than Jabba the Hutt.  Hell, I could BE Jabba! 

I have finally decided, against all of my instincts and selfishness, that I have to finally let go of that fraying rope and hit the bottom of that ravine.  Hit it so hard that my head explodes, which it totally will.  I can't even imagine the headache I am going to have.  I have been drinking soda for centuries.  I always have to have a "diet coke to go," and I carry it around with me like my 4 year old son carries around his suckie.  I am so addicted, I think I would probably save a diet coke falling off a table before I would save my husband from being shot.  I know right?!?!   

I am a mom and a wife who has no control over herself.  I have began to realize that my unhappiness stems from me having no control over anything in my life.  I struggle every day to take control of something...anything, and I fail at that every...single...day.  This time, I am grabbing the reins and taking over.  I will probably fail many times, but that is something I will have to learn to overcome.  It won't be an overnight success, but such is life. 

Since I have had these addictions for so long, I think it would be best to take it one at a time, starting with the diet.  Oh, this will be hard.  HARD I TELL YOU!  How do you get rid of something so near and dear to your heart?  I have no idea how, but I know that I have to; not just for me, but for my whole family. 

Now, you may ask, "Kristin, why are you being a dork and writing a blog about this?"  And my answer would be, accountability.  In order to do something like this, you have to have someone holding you accountable.  So, to all my friends and family, I may be a total b*#$# in the coming days, weeks, and even months, but hold me accountable for my actions.  Help me out with this and help me be strong! 

P.S.:  If you see me with a diet in the coming days, weeks, and months, don't fret, I am weaning myself down.  This girl does not do cold turkey

Are you not ready to stop?  Check this out!

We are only 13 days into 2012 and I am getting so annoyed with all of the exercising, weight loss, dieting crap that everyone is talking about.  It may be because I hate dieting, or that it makes me laugh when people say they have lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks. 

*sigh*

All I have to say to that is:

"CONGRATULATIONS, your kidney's and liver will be thanking you

if you keep heading down that path my friend."

Some people think that dieting means removing food from their life or exercising until they can't stand anymore.  Dieting is a lifestyle people.  It's making a point to not eat sweets and fried foods every single day, and adding in tons more fresh fruits and veggies, and getting off your rump and moving around.  You don't have to run 50 miles a day or lift 100 pound dumb bells, you just have to walk, bend, twist, just move!  Exercise is also cleaning, playing with your kids, folding laundry, shopping - the every day things that you do.  I love to put on my earbuds and listen to music while I clean.  Listening to music makes me dance, sing, and clean longer.

One of the most important things that I have learned whilel trying to lose weight is to not get bored.  When you get bored, your body tries to lie to you and tell you that you are hungry when you really aren't.  Here is some advice:  If you find yourself getting up to go to the kitchen for a little nibble, stop and ask yourself, "Am I hungry or am I just bored?"  Eating a piece of gum or drinking a cold glass of water will not add any fat to your hips or thighs.

Now, a healthy amount of weight to lose every 2 weeks is 0.5 to 2 pounds.  Don 't go nuts people, be wise.  It took you months/years to put that weight on and it will take you a while to take it off.  One thought is that every 1 pound is equal to 3500 calories, so if you eat a deficit of say, 500 calories a day for 7 days, you will lose 1 pound.  Yeah, totally wish I would have thought about that before I ate that cheesecake, birthday cake, bowl of ice cream, hamburger, fries, that second bowl of ice cream... I don't eat very healthy do I?  I am so good at not following my own advice.

Now, onto my 2012 plan, since 2009-2011 didn't quite pan out.  I want to lose 30 pounds before my cruise in October.  After some research, I found that if I stick to 1540 calories a day, I will lose 30 pounds by mid-October.

With dieting, I find it easier to have a reward, or to compete with my husband, which never works out because men suck!  Last time I tried a real diet with competition and reward was about 4 years ago.  I wanted to lose weight for a trip to Disney World.  My goal was to lose 25 pounds (down to 130), and my reward was a Swiss Army watch.   Unfortunately, I lost all but 3 pounds, so I didn't get the watch.   

This time, I want to lose 30 pounds, though I am starting from 10 pounds lighter than where I started last time.  My hope is that I will lose 30 pounds before October 2012 so I can get my new award,

 a tattoo! 

Now, I just need to go bake a cake for the hubs