It's been a few weeks, but I am still alive. I found a new job within a few days after being "laid off" and I actually like my current job, though I am pretty slow while learning new styles, doctors and procedures.
I went to the dermatologist about a month ago to have a look at my rash that I have had for a few years. Unfortunately, the NP (nurse practitioner) thought it looked suspicious for Lupus so we did some blood work, which came back positive with very high numbers. My ANA was 1:1280 (normal being 1:80) and my SSA was 8 (normal being 1). I was then informed that I needed to get a punch biopsy, which is actually as icky as it sounds. A big, huge, ENORMOUS 3 mm hole punched into my shoulder for a tissue sample. I made Mike go with me and he just laughed at how I was acting. The NP had to actually lay me back and give me an ice pack and juice. I HATE needles and now I REALLY HATE anything that has the words punch and biopsy in it. I will never go through a biopsy again! I don't care what I have, that thing sucked big time. After it was done, and I was about to die from being a freak, she actually wanted to give me a stitch!!! Yeah right I thought and I told her that I would rather bleed out all over the floor then to have her put a stitch in me.
I had the biopsy on Monday, so I should hopefully hear the results within the week. I am so over the waiting and just want a final YES/NO answer to why I am constantly depressed, have headaches, constantly tired, aches/pains and this darn rash, and that I can attribute them to something with a name and that I just don't just feel this way. There is no way this can be a normal life to live. Is this really how all people feel? Tired all of the time? Depressed all of the time? Pain all over? Come on!