Heartbreak

Have you ever felt the heartbreak of thinking that you are about to lose someone that you love?

It's that feeling you get when something terrible is happening and you fear for the live of someone that you just can't imagine being gone forever. 

You pray and beg God to keep that person safe.

I have had that feeling two times in my life.

Once was when my son had a severe case of croup and was sent in an ambulance to the ER.

The second time, was this past weekend. 

My husband and I took our 3 boys to the Indiana State Fair. We were going with some friends and their two boys and meeting my sister, who was going to see a concert. I was excited to hang out with my friends and see my sister and give her a big hug. Unfortunately, the traffic was bad and my sister didn't get their early enough to meet up.

Fast forward to 2 hours later and I was fearing for her life. 

During a storm/freak wind gust, the stage at the concert came down and landed on fans causing severe injuries and, in some cases, death.

All I can remember hearing from the voices around me was that the grandstand had fallen

and I remember my heart stopping.

"MY SISTER'S OVER THERE!" 

"OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!"

"PLEASE GOD NO, PLEASE GOD NO!"

I didn't even think. I ran past everyone, out into the storm, to see what was going on. With every section of the Grandstand that came into view, I yelled "THANK YOU GOD!" I kept saying that until I saw each and every section still standing. I started calling and texting my sister, which went on for the next hour. Finally, when we reached our car, in the pouring rain, and piled 5 kids and 4 adults into our minivan, we finally got a hold of eachother. She was fine, safe, well.

Thank you God for keeping my sister safe.

The whole story of this tragedy is so hard to comprehend. I cannot imagine what the others are feeling. 

The ones who were injured.  The ones who's loved ones were hurt or killed. I can't imagine being one of them. Still feeling that heartbreak days after the tragedy.

Thank you God for giving those who have loved ones who were injured or lost their lives the strength and perseverence to get through this terrible time.

So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you;

seek, and you will find;

Knock, and it will be opened to you.

For everyone who asks receives,

And he who seeks finds,

And to him who knocks it will be opened.

Luke 11:9-10 NKJV

School "ROCKS!"



I remember the first day of school when I was little. It was always confusing, a little awkward and a whole lotta frightening. I hated the first day and dreaded every second of it. I was that awkward little girl sitting in the corner wishing that no one would look at her or even talk to her. I guess I am still that way, but now instead of feeling like someone will make fun of me or hurt my feelings, I just don't care.  Don't look at me, talk to me, because I just don't want to be bothered.  Let me do what I came to do and leave me alone LOL!  Guess you can see why my friend-base isn't so big :P

Since school wasn't the high point in my childhood, I wanted to make it a little less scary for my kids.  I don't want them to feel alone or scared because that was an awful feeling that I have never forgotten.  When C started school, I wanted to give him a reminder of me when he was at school so he wouldn't be scared, which reminded me of my first year of college. 

I went to Ball State University (GO CARDINALS!!!), which was only about an hour away from home, but I was in a new place with new people and had a new routine, and I hated new thing and I knew no one. The first time I saw my family after I was dropped off on that first day was on Labor Day. When the weekend was over, I did NOT want to go back, so, before I left I was talking to my dad in the driveway of our cabin. He bent down, picked up a rock and gave it to me telling me to not forget him. I don't think he meant it seriously. I think it was more of a joke, but it was very important to me. I took that rock, kept it all through college and I still have it today.  It's been about 15 years!

That gesture meant so much to me that since C started kindergarten, I have gone outside the night before the first day of school, picked a rock from our flowerbed, prayed over it and written "I <3 U" on it. 

The day of school, I explain that, through this little rock, I will always be with them and that I have prayed that God will be with them too.

(I also have them write their teacher's name and room number on a piece of paper, just in case :P )

I know it's kind of dorky, but I'm like that. I want the boys to know that I am always thinking about them and, if they get scared or nervous, they can reach into their pocket, feel that rock and know that there is someone who loves them very much. My hope is that they will always know that someone is always with them, in spirit.

As you can see C (L) was all for going to school...NOT!

Kinda smiling, but probably embarrased that mom is chasing him with a camera!

A with his first day smile :)

There they go :(

They're back and had a good first day!

P.S. I usually have my rock, but the kids have gotten a hold of it and I can't find it. I wish I could cause I would take a picture. I put "Labor Day '95" on it so I would remember the day and significance of that rock.  That rock just shows you how important the little random things that you do for people are :)

What Happened?!?

Okay, the school year just ended and we went to Disney World, which literally feels like we just got back from a few weeks ago.  It's already August and I am now realizing that the kids start school on Wednesday!!  How did this happen? I have gone a whole summer and blogged like 3 times.  It's not like there wasn't much to talk about. We got a new to us swingset from a workmate of my hubby and the boys absolutely LOVE it!  The best part of it all, IT WAS FREE :P  I wish I could get the pictures off of our camera, but I just can't get it to work.  We also got a new to us van without going into debt, so I can still yell WE ARE DEBT FREE out the windows whenever I feel like it :P  I love the van! With 3 boys in the same car, the further away I can get them sitting, the better.  They are much better behaved when they are separated, which makes mommy smile :)  I just wish I could keep the van all to myself, but the hubby has to drive it to work because the gas mileage is much friendlier than what we get from my Expedition. 

By the way, I found the most amazingly wonderful awesomest website in the whole entire world and I have fallen in absolute LOVE!  Come and visit me over at Pinterest and friend me if you are already there. I love it, have shared some of my other loves and would love to see what you love too :)

On my way out, I thought I would show you a funny that I found at DW that made me laugh:


Not "Please Put Your Waste Here"
but "Please, make sure you waste...something."

Diggin It...

Because I have 3 wee ones, I watch The Disney Channel all day and this is the newest song they are featuring...

I believe I am hooked!!! 

I, I love you like a love song, baby

And I keep hittin repeat-peat-peat-peat-peat

I wish you could hear me sing it, I sound JUST LIKE HER! :P

Rest In Peace Precious Little Angel...

I want to talk about our Disney World trip, I want to talk about church, our new swingset in the back yard, my Zumba class, even my marriage, but I don't want to talk about this. I can't talk about this. It's hard even thinking about it. The thing that has been on my mind and deep in my heart for months. It's keeping me awake at night and stopping me in my tracks in the middle of the day; making my heart pound and ache with every beat.

I think about what her last visions were, what her last words were, her last thoughts. What does a child think as she watches her mother come closer, hold a wet cloth to her face? She breathes in the cold toxic air and gets sleepier and sleepier. Does she feel the life slipping out of her body or is she asleep by then? I think of the mother and how black-hearted she could be, trying to just get her child to sleep, to go away for a while so she can have a break. Did this little baby's mom get upset or sad when she noticed what she had done? Was it a mistake or just a miscalculation or did she want her gone? She sees what she has done and just wants it gone. She takes that precious little package, the package that God created in her womb only a few years before and she puts it to sleep like the local veterinarian down the road.  She wraps it up in black garbage bags. She ties the end and throws it into a laundry bag so its easier to carry. I wonder if she carried a drink with her or stopped and got a snack in the kitchen on her way to toss the "laundry" in the back of her car, to sit and simmer in the hot Florida heat. What did she think as she drove around town that week, from place to place, while the carseat in the back of her car sat empty with just a babydoll occupying it and her "laundry" waiting? 

What did she do the minutes before she decided to take the "laundry" out and throw it in the woods like garbage, like something she just didn't want or need anymore? I have so many questions that begin with why and how. I cry for this little baby like she was my own. I can't make sense of any of it. I ask God why every single day. I just don't understand anything anymore. I don't know if it's about the devilish mother who didn't love her baby enough, the baby who still had that button nose and didn't get the chance to grace the world with her presence long enough to even understand, the grandparents who weren't there to protect her from her inevitable future, or those 12 people who were supposed to hand out justice and make her mom pay for what she had taken away from this world. 

I will remember that day for the rest of my life. My mom called to see what I thought and I couldn't even talk to her. I told my husband that no one cared about that baby, not her mother, not her grandparents, and not even these 12 people on the jury. These people, all of them, they let this poor baby down, a helpless, defenseless baby. They were told to find reasonable doubt, but their explaination, their excuse was that there wasn't enough evidence for the charges. A little baby girl is dead, lying in the woods for 6 months while her mother just walks around partying and getting laid and drunk, getting a tattoo to signify her daughters short life, all the while knowing that her baby is lying in the woods, rotting into dust and bones. Her car even has the smell death in it, but that isn't enough right? Not enough evidence. Ugh, I just hear that ringing in my ears every single day. Those people wouldn't even talk to the press afterward, which shows that they knew they were just plain wrong and letting this child down. 

To tell you the truth, I don't know who I am more disgusted or disappointed with and I don't think I ever will. You just can't really get over something like this, especially as a mom. I just pray that I will understand God's plan in all of this, because without Him, I just can't stop crying about this precious little baby who was drug out of this world too soon. Even though I am a Christian and God-fearing woman and know that this world isn't going to get all rainbows and unicorns before the end of times, I know that something great has to come from this child's name, something that changes the lives of other baby's for the better. Please God, don't let her die in vain.

Rest in peace Caylee. Maybe some day, I can hold you in my arms and tell you how much you were truly loved, not just by me, but by the world.... 

Disney 2011 - ROADTRIP!

So we have been back from our Disney World trip for about 3 weeks now and things are starting to get back to normal. DW was so much fun and we took full advantage of every second of our time there. But, before we even left home, there were some huge storms coming through Indy, so we had to wait a while before we started our adventure. There were tornadoes down south, which was on our way, so we decided to just wait until they were out of the state. 

Ready for DW!

On the way, we saw some tornado damage, some of it ON the interstate.  The state police were everywhere!

On our way down, about a million hours in, we stopped at a Florida rest park for lunch (breakfast was at Cracker Barrel!) and it was way too HOT!


C, like his mommy and doesn't like hot weather



Took way too much food :)



Z took time out from lunch for a sword fight.

 

Are we there yet...can't tell you how many times we heard that!



After lunch, ice cream was in order :)

We stopped at a Country Inn and Suites in Ocala, FL and it sucked! 

I usually LOVE staying at CIAS, but this one was not very nice.  I seemed like the first CIAS ever built LOL! 

Up next....

DISNEY WORLD!!!

We just got back from our vaca to Disney World (HOT) last Saturday and things still haven't calmed down.  Had a baseball game on Sunday and I had to work.  We started VBS this week and, starting next week, the kids have a 2 week swim class.  I thought summer would be easy, but I am starting to think it is worse than the school year!

DW was a blast, but it was stifling hot! If you know me well, I absoluately hate being hot...with a true passion. Air conditioning is my best friend and if I get hot, I get irritable and when I get irritable, everyone better watch out. I ended up being in the sun way too long so my lupus acted up (just the rash part), but I used up as much shade as I could find and the rash went away pretty fast with some steriods. I totally forgot my flipping hat and mommy arms at home, so that was a big waste LOL!  :) 

We ended up leaving the night of some pretty bad storms in southern/central Indiana. We waited until they were pretty much through the area that we were driving through, which put us leaving home around 11 pm.  We drove through the area that a tornado went through and there were trees on the interstate and police cars blocking lanes...it was crazy, but overall not too bad. We stopped for breakfast at the usual, Cracker Barrell, and from there, I have no idea because I was tired and slept most of the way. 

Anyways, the kids had a blast, it was hot and I took tons of pictures.

OH! And poor baby Z lost his sucky. Very very very sad...

So, we at lots of junk:

Seriously Disney? Dessert with EVERY meal?

Taught our kids bad manners:

Taught our nephew bad manners:

I got my 6 yo to ride Tower of Terror!

Last time we took the older 2 to DW, they freaked out in a 3D atraction so I was terrified to take them to one this time, but they all went, including the 2 yo, and they all LOVED!



A Bugs Life (Animal Kingdom)



We ate at the SciFi restaurant at Hollywood Studios (which I highly recommend!)

I will tell you more later about where we ate, what we did and how tired I am LOL!





Five Question Friday...

Linked up here!

It's Friday again and time for Five Question Friday!  On with the questions:

1. Tube socks, calf socks, crew, ankle, none? (From@ThisDaddys_Blog)

I have many different types of socks from ankle to knee socks, but I think my fav is my Hanes crew socks for the winter months, but summer is all for flip flops, though if I do wear my tennies in the summer, they are worn with ankle socks :)

2. Was your childs (children's) name a mutual decision or was it a debate? If you don't have children, do you plan on giving your spouse a say, or do you have a name you MUST have, regardless if your other half likes it or not?! (From @momtodh)
Okay, so I am a little bitter with the naming of our children.  Now don't get me wrong, I love their names and they suit them to a T, but I wanted totally different names for my boys. My whole life I wanted to name my daughter Leora after my great grandmother, but alas, I didn't have a daughter. I wanted to name one of my sons Ezra after my granfather, but my husband is totally against "old-timey" names.  But for the names they were given, we did come to an agreement.

3. What is your favorite type of weather? (From@TheSpunkyDiva)
My fav type of weather is rain...I know, I know, how dare I, but I have Lupus and can't be out in the sun, so I am going with cloudy with a chance of rain :)  The air smells amazing after it rains and everything is nice and clean :)  If I do happen be having a good "Lupus day" it's low-to-mid 70s with a slight breeze.

4. If left to your own devices, what time would you wake up every day? (From Sandy at "Pardon My Dust")
I guess I am left to my own devices.  I get up at 6:30 every morning to get the kids off to school and I usually come in and go back to bed (lucky me!) and don't have to get up until 9:30 to get A from school!!!

5. Have you bought your cemetery plots yet? (From Pam at "Troop Petrie")
GROSS! I don't even want to think about having a plot yet, but I have decided that when I die, I want to be cremated and poured into the ocean.  I have already told my husband that I want him to put my ashes in a cardboard box, wrap it up like a present and have a party to celebrate my life. I then asked him to go on a cruise and pour my ashes into the ocean.

Well, that's it! I hope that you all have a great weekend! 

Our forcast is calling for rain pretty much the whole weekend, so...

YAY ME! 

Thankful Thursday...

Today, I am thankful that I got up early to take Zachary to my MILs

so I could volunteer at the boys' school for field day....

Only to find out I was a WEEK early... 

But I had time to laugh with and talk to Zach while getting him ready.

I had a quiet drive to the school and subsequently back home.

and I was able to get myself a Diet Coke at the gas station before I realized my error...

so...

Today, I am thankful for happy accidents...

BTW, Zach was not an accident...he was perfectly planned :)

HAVE  A GREAT THURSDAY!

  

I finally got around to making my very own Mommy Arms for our

upcoming Disney trip!  I made three pairs and...

like everything else I have made with my new sewing machine...

they aren't perfect, but I am happy with them. 

Can you say holy horrible pictures Batman?!
I totally suck at taking decent pictures with this camera.

I can't wait until the fall (actually I can)...

when I can get more knee socks to make more of these.

BTW, I have to wear these, or long sleeves because I have Lupus,

 and I can't be in the sun for extended periods of time...

If I am, my illness flares up and the next few weeks are going to BLOW! 

I personally think these arm covers are great because

I can wear them outside to protect my arms  from the sun,

but when I get inside , I can take them off! 

Therefore, I don't have to go out and invest in a ton of long-sleeve shirts,

 or slather on the sun block every five minutes,

AND I can still wear my tank tops...

SCORE!

EEKS!  Just had a Miniere's attack......I HATE THOSE! 

Gee, how many problems and ailments can one woman have???

Do I need a vacation or what?!?!

A Spiritual Cleansing...

As I said in my previous blog, I have had a hard few weeks. With my husband working A LOT of overtime and myself having virtually no work (no work = no $), the kids not behaving at their best, various family issues and the like, I have had my fill of all things annoying, upsetting and just plain sad and depressing.  Therefore, I have been spending a lot of time engrossing myself in God's Word, asking for forgiveness, begging him for the answers and listening to what He has to say. He IS the only one with all the right answers so He is the only one I truly trust.  Through all of this praying and listing, I feel an urging from the Lord to re-evaluate my life, who I am, who I want to become and who and what I invite into my world. I have heard this message before, but until now I haven't been a good listener because I am a "Give it the benefit of the doubt" kinga girl, but starting today, I have finally...FINALLY decided to listen to Him. I am cleaning out my life and starting this week, this year, on a positive road to redemption. I am removing bad influences, bad thoughts, bad words, bad feelings, bad everything. I have finally come to realize that I can't fight for what I think is right for me, I have to fight for what the Lord thinks is right for me.

I have to clear out things that aren't good for me and aren't positive influences so that I can be a better person. I need things that will bring me closer to Christ and not pull me further and further away. In this, I will become closer to myself, my husband and children, and my Christian brothers and sisters. I don't like to have to purge those things that I hold close to myself, but I have to listen to the Lord and do as He says so I can assure my place in Heaven, my true eternal home. I have to work on being not just a good mother, wife, daughter, friend and Christian, but a better mother, wife, daugher, friend and Christian!  Tell me, how can I do that allowing evil or sin to come into my home where it can affect myself, my children and my marriage? There is no possible way!

Don't get me wrong, we are all born into sin and I am full of sin, and that is why I need to make these changes. This life is not about me, it's about Him and I want to be what He wants me to be and so far, I have not been fulfilling what He has planned for me. I have been a sinful wife, a sinful mother, a sinful friend and a sinful Christian and, until I purge that sin in my life, both what I am doing and what others are doing, I will fall short of what His plans are, though we all will fall short of His glory, I want to make sure that I fall as short as I possibly can. I want to be the person God created me to be and I am starting to become that person today. 


Will you join me in ridding your life of sin and helping others to rid their lives of sin as well? This is going to be extremely hard.  Every single thing that God asks you to do is going to be hard, but He promised that he will never give us anything that we can't handle:

1 Corinthians 10:12-13 (New International Version, ©2011)
So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

***WARNING***

This video will most definitely make you cry!

It's Friday again, but even better...it's GOOD Friday!  

Happy GOOD Friday to all of my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Let today be the day (along with every day) that we remember why we celebrate the

life, crucificition and resurection of our Lord and Savior,

Jesus Christ.

This week has been a wild and crazy week in my house. With a few homework apocalypses, the hubby  working extra long hours, me stressing about barely having any work, baseball, tons of rain, thousands of messes and mini-Chernobyl meltdowns...it's been FANTASTIC! Wow, could you read the sarcasm in that? I am all frazzled and tired and have literally woken up every day this week with an upset churning and icky stomach. I have so many things running through my head that being committed for a week or two is looking mighty sweet right now.

But, alas, no breaks here missy! In exactly 1 month and 4 days, we have our trip to the Wonderful World of DISNEY! No, we don't have the luxury of flying like the fancy types, we are packing all of our diapers, sippy cups and pillows into our Expedition and taking a road trip. Yep, that is my 3 boys, myself and my hubby all packed into a tin can barrelling down the highway at 75 mph for 16+ hours straight.  Doesn't it sound like fun? Maybe not to you, but road trips have always been my ultimate fav right up there with unicorns and glitter...HAHA!!!  Not really, glitter is my mortal enemy (just think kriptonite and superman ).  But I really do love road trips. I always have the same things at hand. My Zune, a diet fountain drink and twizzlers. If I run out of anything, I stop at the nearest gas station and fill up.

Ah, the open road with nothing in front of you but the swerving psycho semi drivers, multiple potty breaks (though I have boys and potty breaks consist of  "here, pee in this bottle!"), that sooooo slow driver in the left lane that you just can't seem to pass and, even if you do, he is just going to pass you at the 260 mile marker. You have the many miles of construction and those horrendous gas prices. Ah, America's open road :)

I am already preparing a Disney Road Trip binder for A and C with coloring pages, a scavenger hunt and other awesome, time consuming, activities. If you have any ideas, let me know!!!  We are also compiling all of their favorite movies to take along to watch in the car as well. SO EXCITED! 

List of To-Do's:

• Complete binders.
• Make 2 placemats for Z.
• Make 3 pairs of mommy arms, so I can actually be in the sun.
• Make the kids matching shirts (ugh, I at least need 1 shirt for each kid each day!)  Yeah, starting to think that's not going to be possible LOL!
• Lose about 30 pounds. (I can dream can't I?)
• Pack, pack, pack!

Five Question Friday

This week has been crazy long with the hubs working overtime, my chiropractic appointments, A's baseball practice, C's homework and me trying to keep the house in order.  I epically failed at keeping the house clean, but I figure it's okay since I have 3 boys who are wild and crazy 24/7 :)  Just one more week of hubs working overtime and I get my life back...I hope!

Once again, it's FRIDAY and I am linking up with Five Crooked Halos for 5QF!  On to the topic at hand and the 5 random questions:

1. What is your favorite sign of spring?  My favorite sign of spring is the smell of a freshly mowed lawn. I know it's weird and has nothing to do with cute little bunnies or flowers, but I absolutely love the smell of a mowed lawn. It smells so refreshing and just reminds me of spring. Add in a warm breeze and I am sold :)

2. What was your best birthday ever?  Okay, does anyone remember Farrell's?  We had one at our local mall when I was growing up and I absolutely LOVED that place! My Nammy would always take me there for my birthday (we shared the same birthday) and that place totally rocked out! They were set up like an old-time ice cream parlor, they had the best ice cream and a band that would come out every now and then and play songs while marching around the room.  I really miss that place.  I need to find one and take my kids there some day.

3. What is your favorite dessert?  Man, this is a hard one because I am a sucker for sweets.  Lately, I have been totally craving a huge hunk of peanut butter pie with chocolate crust...MAN THAT SOUNDS GOOD, but sooooo fatening!!!

4. What is the best excuse you've ever used to get out of a ticket?  I have never really tried to get out of a ticket because I always deserved it, but I am always nice and considerate, while playing really dumb blonde.  I think that if I act nice and innocent, they will give me a warning LOL!  I am not going to say anything else because when you do that, you usually get a ticket within the next few weeks :)

5. Do you wake up before your alarm, with your alarm, or after hitting snooze several times? I really despise mornings. I usually hit my alarm about 3 times before getting up and then I am usually in a horrible mood for at least an hour.

Well, that's it loves! I hope you have an amazing weekend!  Unfortunately, for Ms. Five Crooked Halos, there is snow in the forecast.  We have rain coming where I am, but at least that is way better than snow :)  I will be spending my weekend finishing up my mother-in-laws birthday present so pray for me.  Have to figure out how to do bias tape corners....stay tuned LOL!

What I Am Thankful For Today...

I am thankful for so many things that God has given me, but today, I am most thankful for my beautiful babies! God has blessed me with 3 wonderful and georgous boys (even though most of the time they R gross!). I love every single thing about them. C (my oldest) has an attitude and the hardest head, but he is  amazing and wondeful. He is my artist and will be huge some day! A is just as sweet as can be and has the worlds most wonderfully beautiful HUGE blue eyes. He is my sporty little guy and can beat anyone...at least mommy thinks so :) Z...not only is he the most adorable baby in the world, but he has the most wonderful-est scream that is so loud and blood curdling, I swear he will be in a horror film some day.

I love all my baby boys so much and I just pray that the girls they end up marrying will treat them good, or mommy will come knocking some heads :)  Not that I am going to be a creepy mother-in-law or anything LOL! 

The best picture I could get of them tonight :)

Wordless Wednesday!

Linked up with Better In Bulk, Crazy About My BayBah and Live And Love Out Loud!

Ready for vacation?  *sigh*



Linking up to Five Crooked Halos!

1. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
Oh wow, I really have to say this to everyone out there in cyber world, for all to see? (okay, like 5 people read my blog, so I'm not all that worried :) I wouldn't change my sarcastic tongue that everyone probably wishes me to lose and it's not my ignoring of messes, oh now, it's nothing like that :)  This time I am going all out!  I will try to keep this light because I am a lady, but if I had to change one thing about myself, I would totally change my "feminine assets" if you know what I mean LOL! Have already asked if I can get an enhancement and was quickly turned down :(  BOOBIES!


2. Write about a time when you got lost.
If you knew me well, you would know that I am constantly getting lost, mostly at stores...I need a collar for when I get lost so when someone finds me, they can call my husband to come and pick me up.  This is why I don't like going alone. I park the car and BAM lose it within seconds! One time I stood outside Walmart for 15 minutes just trying to think of where the car could be...actually very scary! Luckly I was finally diagnosed with Lupus and can now chalk it up to Lupus fog.


3. Camping or 5 star hotel?
Ah, camping is a 5 star hotel isn't it? I have a TV/DVD player, radio, laptop, cell phone, fridge, air conditioning, bathroom...I love camping!  But then again, I do also love pillowtop mattresses and room service :)

4. Have you donated blood?
OMG! I did donated blood in college and totally almost fainted! I kept looking over at the bag full of blood that was sitting next to me and teeter tottering on that little machine they use and it just make me sooo queezy.  I will never do that again, sorry to those who are in need, but I am usually anemic so I wouldn't be able to anyways :)

5. Do you have a budget or do you 'fly by' most months?
We are newly DEBT FREE, but have 3 kids, so you always have to be on somewhat of a budget...even though I do love spending $$$$$ :)

Today is Toddler Talk Thursday over at Crazy about My Baybay and the topic is:

"What are you and your Toddler reading before bed?"

Um...

Hmm...

Errr...

Am I a bad mom since I don't read to my baby before bed? 

Instead of reading, we cuddle on the couch or in bed and watch Spongebob

Cuddling is quality time right?  It's as good as reading right? 

I don't really like reading...

Okay, total lie...my Nook would totally be mad at me right now for saying that. 

Truth is, I really don't like reading to my kids...they ask WAY too many questions!

CRAP!  One more thing I need to put on my list to improve my parenting skills

Along with...

Feeding them at least three meals a day

Bathing them more than once or twice a week

Listening to them when they are talking to me

Not ignore them when they are telling me about how wonderfully exciting last weeks episode of Total Drama World Tour was while I am trying to watch The Middle or Modern Family.  I really need to stop bobbing my head around to see the screen, I think they are catching on...

*sigh*

My list is getting sooooo long

So, One of Those Days Again?

Have you ever had one of those days that just started out good and then, in one instance, you fall into a funk? Well, today is that day for me.  Just got back from the doc (third appt.) and the jaw is still locked.  So, now I am asking myself, "am I just wasting the docs time?", "am I just wasting my money on something that can't be fixed?" I am just so upset with myself. I am such a spaz case and wish I would just calm down and let the doc do his friggin job! I wish I had a good family medicine doc who understood my needs and my issues and would just provide me with the anxiety meds I know I need! The doc wants me to relax and get comfortable so he can work on my neck and jaw, but I can't relax. I am instinctively a ball of nerves and stiff muscles. I just want the doc to take my neck, pop the freak out of it and whip my jaw back in place, but he doesn't want to go there unless I am comfortable, which I completely understand. URG, when am I going to be comfortable and relaxed....Maybe I can get drunk or drug myself on muscle relaxers before my next appt.!

Ten on Tuesday!

Linking up here!!!

1. What is your best idea date?

My best idea date...hmm....I'm not very creative when it comes to this stuff.  I usually depend on the guy to figure it out, but I guess my best would be dinner and maybe a movie or a long walk downtown.  Pretty basic and boring...Hey, I'm married and a mom LOL!

2. How long does it take you to get ready to go on a date?

Probably an hour or less.  Depends on if it's with other people and if I have to look decent...if its just with the hubby, I don't try as hard LOL!  That's bad :)

3. What would you wear on the date?

Jeans and a nice shirt.  I would make sure to wear my wedding ring and necklace just be fancy it up LOL!

4. If you are married, how often do you go on dates? If you are single, when was your last date?

We barely go out on dates.  Probably once every 3-4 months if that. I think we need more dates, but who has the time or money? 

5. What was your worst date?

OMG! My worst date was with a guy I met at Central Hardware (where I wored as a cashier).  He took me to see The Leprachaun at Movies 8! Such a stupid movie and such a stupid date.  He just wanted to make out with me and he got totally denied!

6. Do you/Did you kiss on your first date?

Depends on if the guy is worth it.  But I didn't kiss my husband until a few weeks after we met, but that was in college, so every day is like a date :)

7. If married, how long before you knew he/she was the one? If single, how long before you know if the person is marriage material?

I think I knew the second we met.  He looked like Matt Damon (my favorite actor), so that was a for sure LOL!  What was I thinking :)

8. Do you prefer day dates or night dates?

Night dates...They are more romantic and fun for some reason.

9. How old were you when you first were allowed to date?

I never really had a drop dead "date" on when I could start. I was the third child, so my parents pretty much stopped having rules by the time I came around. I never really dated because guys were stupid in high school, everyone dated everyone and I didn't really care...though I did have my crushes LOL!!  I finally met a guy worth dating the summer after my senior year of high school though.

10. What is the most embarassing moment you have had on a date?

I haven't really been embarrased on a date, but I do have to say that one time, my boyfriend and I were sitting in the car in front of my parents house "saying goodbye" after our date and here comes my sister knocking on the window...LOL!!!!

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BTW!
The buds are blooming here in Indiana and I see flowers peeking out from the dirt

This is one of our Bradford Pear trees in the front yard!

Happy Spring Loves :)

Chiropractor...

Well, so far, my jaw has been locked at 18 mm for about 6 weeks. I have already been to a dentist who specializes with TMJ treatment and he put me on muscle relaxants and antiinflammatories for a week, which did not help me at all. He has decided to go ahead and send me to an oral surgeon for further treatment (not surgery!), but possibly what I call a TMJ joint washout, but what doctors call a TMJ arthrocentesis, which totally sounds better than what it actually is. At first, the procedure sounds just fine, but after further investigation, I found that it is two needles pocked into the side of your face! Here, let me show you the freakest picture EVER!


TMJ Arthrocentesis



Looks absolutely awful doesn't it! OUCH is right :)  So, instead of trying to go this route, my husband and I decided to go the chriopractic route to see if that would help me out any....please God, help!

Soooo, I went to the chiropractor for the first time yesterday and I am so glad I did.  It was uncomfortable at first because it was my first chiropractic appt., but also, I know the doctor personally, so that is just too weird, but at least he isn't a gynecologist right!!!  There is no way I could go to a gynecologist that I used to go to church with...too darn freaky.  While at the office I found out that I have a lot of tense muscles all over the back of my neck and shoulder, which is one reason for my headaches.  One muscle is an actual ball on the right side of the back of my neck that I have felt for months that causes the worst neck pain ever.

Another sad thing that I found out is that I am drinking way to much Diet Coke and not enough water, which I pretty much already knew.  Okay, now this is hard for me. I love my Diet Coke. I have a bottle or a fountain drink with me at all times, never fails. I plan my day around where I can get a DC.  I am already planning on getting one before our drive out to Florida in a few months LOL!  So today, I had a bottle of water with me all day and I did decent. I did have DC at Subway with lunch and I am drinking a little bit now, but that is way better than it has been, so that is pretty good.

I was also told that I needed to eat a larger breakfast to get my metabolism up and going. I usually eat a diet bar for breakfast and that's it. The doctor said that once your body gets used to eating so few calories a day, it freaks out and goes into starvation mode and holds the fat, which doesn't allow your body to burn it, even though you are working out!  I already knew this as well, but figured that, after a while, your body would just HAVE to start burning the fat...right? LOL!  My weight has been a huge issue for me lately because I Zumba once a week and walk on my treadmill at least 5 nights a week, yet I have only lost about 9 pounds in the last 2 months, which is just not kosher for me at all.  I have stopped snacks and stopped eating so many sweets.  If I do have to have a snack, it's Special K Cracker Chips or something of the like.  Not 12 chocolate cookies, Pop Tarts, a bag of potato chips...So, I am starting to drink more water with just 1 DC a day for now until I can back down to one every other day and then maybe even one a week.  For now, I am working on more fruits and veggies a day, more water and breakfast.  Lets see how this goes for me.

The doc wants to see me three days a week for the next two weeks for adjustments and stretching to see if he can relax my muscles and I am so excited! I pray that this works and that my headaches and jaw pain will go away.  Even though I know it won't go away permanently, I hope that this will help me feel better.

Couldn't find the video that I wanted, but this is about as uncomfortable as you can get in a doctors office...enjoy :P

Wordless Wednesday...

Puppy depression is an epidemic...

Cookie Fail!

Cookies just have no hope in my home...
I just don't have the cookie thumb.

Why oh why did they have to die :(

We even followed directions...
and this is what happened.

I give up...

I will just have to leave the cookie cooking
to the bakers from now on.

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This week is spring break at our house
 so the kids are home and stole the camera:

Niece and A



Z looking just a wee bit high.



Kids playing made up Weeble Wobble game.

Aint he cute :)

Ummmmm...





And it's only Monday!!!!

BTW, made this last night: 



Bad pic, but it's cute :)