They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But what is beauty really? Who decides what is beautiful and what makes them correct in their assumption? My husband thinks I am beautiful, but I don't necessarily agree with that. But who is right? Am I right because I know who I am inside and out, all my secrets and flaws? Or is he right for loving me unconditionally?
We all walk through life with flaws as we are only human and haven't been perfect since the time of Adam and Eve and that stupid apple. Every morning I find myself standing in front of the mirror cursing my body and calling myself a "fat cow" and picking out all the flaws and how it would be so wonderful to not have that fat here or to have more fat there. I do this every single morning without fail even though every night, before I go to bed, my husband will look at me and say "you are beautiful." After which I tell him to shut up and to go away. Is it because I don't believe he is being honest and sincere because he is trying to "get some" or is it because I just refuse that I can be anything but beautiful? Why are all women so profoundly cruel to themselves and seeking this unrealistic goal of the perfect body. Who made a size 0 or 2 so perfect? Why can't a size 10 or 14 be so perfect and beautiful? Not so long ago, many many men were in love with a certain lady who went by the name of Marilyn Monroe. She wore a size 12 or 14 and had the curves to boot. To name a few more ladies over size 10 in the public eye: Chistrina Hendricks (MadMen), Adele (singer/songwriter), Sara Ramirez (GreysAnatomy) and Queen Latifah (singer/actress). Though a few have been struck by the Hollywood standard of approval and signed on to be spokeswomen for certain diet plans, all of these ladies have two things in common: They are all over size 10 and they are beautiful!
But, lets take this biblically for a minute, in 1 Corinthians, the Bible says: "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, Who is in you, Whom you have received from God? ... So use every part of your body to give glory back to God..." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "You were bought at a price [Jesus death on the cross]. Therefore honor God with your body." 1 Corinthians 6:20
Therefore, who am I to judge my own body? If the Holy Spirit lives within me, why am I calling myself a "fat cow" and hating myself for what God has given to me? The Holy Spirit lives in this body and I curse it every day. If I am cursing my body and The Spirit lives inside of me, am I not cursing the Lord and what he created me to be? That is very much everything that I stand against! So, from now on, I will learn to love my body and love myself as I love The Lord God who lives inside of me every second of every day. He gave me this "temple" to take care of and I will not consider it a "fat cow" any longer, but a vessel. This will obviously take some time to get used to, but sometimes, we need to love ourselves, respect ourselves and know that we were made in His image to be who we are and not who everyone else wants us to be.